The above link was the beginning of where this starts, just in case you care to get filled in before continuing. It will in no way hinder what you read here if you don’t because it’s not in anyway seamlessly put together. I’m free handing the thoughts that run through my head so watch out ;). These thoughts were especially wild the other day for some reason. Whether it had been the remnence of a dream or something else, this is what came of it…..
I woke the next morning, my eyes swollen almost completely shut. In the rare times I’d been brought to tears that was usually the side effect. My head pounded and seemed to only get worse when I tried to sit up. I felt like a truck had run over my head. I forgot for a moment why until the night before came flooding back.
Descending tail lights.
The liquor bottle.
I groaned at the reason for my pulsating eyeballs and turned in my bed to face the wall. I was hoping it was all just a bad dream I was waking up from. That she wasn’t in this bed right now because she was in the bathroom or out making coffee. She hadn’t really left? Had she?
I hadn’t realized we’d drifted apart in the last few months. Of course, I hadn’t seen Julie much lately because of what had been transpiring at work. But, I figured we were strong enough to get through it.
I had been spending a lot of extra time at work trying to make sure I wasn’t going to lose my job. Early starts turning into late nights to try and get projects handled. The weekend work. The training of new, younger, lower paid hires. The missed dinners. The skipped dates. I didn’t even realize it until now. And then I go and do what I did last night.
And above everything else, I think I had just taken advantage of the fact that I assumed she’d always be there, that she wouldn’t mind the late nights or missing a few weekends together. I just figured that she’d take it all as part of the journey and would know it wasn’t going to be permanent.
She’d been my everything. My world. My life. She’d supported me at first when I’d told her about the cut backs. How was I going to cope without her?
“It’s okay, Henry, we’ll figure things out,” she reassured in the way only she could.
I sighed, “what if it’s me they get rid of? What if I can’t get another job?”
“They’d be foolish to get rid of you. Especially with your experience. And if they are that foolish, you’ll find other employment. There are other companies out there that would kill to have someone like you on staff.”
“What if I don’t?”
“You will, I know you will.”
She draped her arms around my neck kissing me softly on the lips, “I have my faith in you.”
She tasted so good. Like strawberries and cream. She smelled incredible. Like vanilla and sunshine magically mixed together.
“You have way too much confidence in me,” I murmured into her neck, “how did I ever get so lucky?”
I kissed her again, unable to quench my thirst for her.
Sitting up in bed, I knew I couldn’t lay here any longer without being barraged by memories and walks down roads I couldn’t fix. I had things to do today anyway. I had a resume to dust off and a plan to put together for Monday morning.
I walked into the bathroom unable to look at myself in the mirror while I brushed my teeth and washed up. How could I have been so neglectful? How could I have been so blind?
I wiped my face with a towel and inadvertently caught my reflection.
“You are such an idiot,” I grumbled to myself slamming the towel onto the counter top and heading to the kitchen.
Slipping my feet into my sandals I shuffled from the bedroom, down the hallway and turned right to head to the kitchen. The lights were still off, it was quiet. I wasn’t really surprised, but a small part of me was hoping she would have been in here. I attempted to brew the coffee hoping I had the coffee to water ratio right. I wasn’t the one who usually got our mornings started.
I took a sip looking out the window into the backyard as the morning sun was slowly rising. Maybe some cool morning air could do me some good.
In the front yard we had a small porch. It had been a planter when we’d moved in filled with flowers and bushes. But, Julie had always wanted someplace where we could put a swing we could sit in together on those cool spring and fall evenings. I made it happen. I did just about anything to make her happy.
Opening the front door, I stopped dead in my tracks. I blinked a couple times. I rubbed my eyes. I’m surprised I still held on to the mug of coffee.
Sitting before me in the seat she had been in only a few days before while she waited for me to get home, looking just as exhausted as I felt, yet still room brightingly gorgeous, was Julie. My Julie. She’d come home. She still wore the close she’d left in. The bag she’d packed was sitting next to her. Her dark brunette hair was pulled back in to a pony tail. Her beautiful blue eyes bloodshot.
She patted the seat beside her, “come here, Henry,” her voice was horse with emotion, “let’s talk.”
Hmmmmm…..how would YOU have this conversation end up?
Until next time….Live Every Moment….Laugh Every Day….Love Beyond Words